Butter My Toast
by C.Rara
Summary: Harry is brooding again and since Hermione and Ron don't want to alienate him further by pushing him away, they're too scared to force him to talk. Lucky. Ginny has no such worries and an unorthadox approach to sensitive.


**Butter My Toast**

Ginny Weasley walked into the Great Hall in what can only be described as a decidedly good mood.

Naturally the sight of Dolores Umbridge perched precariously upon half a dozen monstrously pink cushions at the front table diminished her cheeriness slightly, but only very slightly. After all, a small glance around the room quickly told her that their beloved headmistress was receiving approximately 100 death glares as she munched her way through a disgustingly gooey blueberry muffin.  
The scariest glare was, naturally, being delivered by the scariest person in the hall; Professor McGonagall. Although Hermione's was a close second.

"Happy today, are we?" she asked her friend, grinning, as she swung herself into the next seat.

Hermione, unsmiling, murmured a brief 'good-morning' as she pushed the orange juice along the table towards Ginny. Her eyes never left Umbridge's toad-like face.

"Thanks." Ginny said, staring at Hermione humorously. "So, tell me, what exactly has Grandmother Toad done now to incur your mighty wrath? I have to say, you're going a little extreme aren't you? I mean, all she's done is _usurp Dumbledore_, stipulate all groups, including Hogwarts' Society of Wizarding Chess, be _banned_ and lower the morale and-"Ginny's eyes lingered on the cushions –"if I may so- _tone_ of the school. Does she really deserve your incessant _staring?_ Merlin, Hermione! She may not be able to eat her breakfast in _total comfort_ now!"

Kudos where they're due, Hermione still never tore her eyes away from the staff table. She did however nudge her head minutely to where Harry was sitting, alone, staring forlornly at a piece of toast.

"He's brooding again, Ginny. He didn't sit with us at Dinner either. Ron can't take it, he feels like he's losing his best mate. It's like last year again, Ginny, when they fell out. Except worse. He's drawing away from himself. He's not even eating; he just sits there thinking about only-Merlin-knows-what."

Considering he was only sitting about 4 spaces away, Ginny thought Hermione should have spoken quieter, but she didn't and if Harry heard, he showed no sign of it.

Hermione sighed deeply.  
"It's this cows fault. The whole place is so gloomy, Ginny, can't you feel it? No wonder Harry can't shake the bad feelings, it's awful now in the castle. The whole place is shrouded in Umbridge's oppressive dark clouds."

"Poetic" Ginny commented lightly.

"Truth" Hermione replied, and Ginny cast her eyes up at the sky and saw, indeed, that the sky was of the darkest grey. Not even a flicker of sun was shimmering through. The only light in the castle came from the candles they had been forced to light.

'Well that won't do' thought Ginny.

"Now, don't get me wrong, Hermione. I hate Umbitch as much as you do, but can you really hold her responsible for the _weather?"_

"Yes." Hermione muttered hotly, her scowl intensifying. It was a definite rival for McGonagall's now, Ginny thought.

"Nah. Don't say that, Mione" Ron said, arriving at the table looking, if possible, scruffier than usual. "Gives her too much power. Imagine if _that_ controlled the elements."

"Glad you're finally up." Hermione said disapprovingly.

Ron didn't even cringe at the harsh tone. Instead he merely shrugged and went;  
"Yeah, well. I went to bed bloody late last night, didn't I?"  
His tone was accusatory and, ordinarily, Hermione's eyes would have narrowed, but considering the hateful glare she was already giving, this would have resulted in Hermione outright shutting her eyes, and the effect would have been lost somewhat.

"I don't know, did you?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did."

"And why was that?"

"Well, I had to do that bleeding essay for Professor Slave-Driver over there."

"McGonagall gave you a week, Ron. You should have done it earlier."

"I was busy."

"You were lazy."

"I don't get it though, do I? Transfiguration! You're the brains here, Hermione. You should have helped me!"

"Why, Ronald? Why? Are you incapable of writing, is that it? Do you have the mental capacity of this sausage, is that it? Or do I just have to do absolutely everything!"

"You're a nutter! All I said was you should have helped me. Help. As in _what friends do_. Bloody Hell! I just don't get you girls. Flippin' hormones I reckon_. Is it that time of the month or something_?"

Ginny closed her eyes in pure bliss to just savour that moment. When she opened them, Hermione had finally forced her eyes away from Umbridge to send a withering glower at her moronic brother Ron instead.

"Ron Weasley, you are an incorrigible prat! You don't have a single ounce of tact or sensitivity in you! And help? HELP? I wrote ALL your bloody notes because YOU were too busy playing a one person game of hangman in YOUR book. I bet you didn't even win!"

"As a matter of fact, I DID win."

"YOU WERE PLAYING AGAINST YOURSELF, YOU TWIT!"

By now, most of the Gryffindor table were staring at the fighting duo, a general feeling of '_at last, _some_ normality' _amongst the students. Harry, however, hadn't looked up from his toast.

Shaking her head in frustration, Ginny looked up at the staff table. Unable to hear what the teacher's were saying, she did her best to discern their conversations from their actions.

At the end of the table, Sinistra and Vector were having a very animated conversation about pushing something. Or possibly fondling someone's breasts. Judging by Professor Sinistra's outburst of scandalized laughter, Ginny guessed she was probably quite glad not to be hearing what the Ancient Runes teacher was discussing.

At the other end, Professor Sprout was chatting happily with Professor Burbage and gesturing often towards the pastries, which _did_ look especially good today.  
'Another reason to be cheerful', thought Ginny 'at least _someone_ gets it.'

Next, Ginny looked over to glare at Umbridge. After all, she had to get one glare in and it would be far better to get this over with _before_ she started eating.

However what she saw at the middle of the staff table surprised her, and presented a new victor in the contest for 'who can give Umbridge the deadliest glare.'  
Umbridge had seemingly gotten herself into a massive argument with Severus Snape, who was looking even more murderous than usual. McGonagall, whom Ginny would have thought would have been rather enjoying this moment, looked positively livid and appeared to be agreeing with Snape on every point.

"Well, well" Ginny whispered, getting the attention of everyone around by her gossipy tone. "What do you suppose is going on with the teachers?"

Sinistra obviously leant in to ask what was going on, though her voice was inaudible. McGonagall however, made no attempt to whisper back and instead said in a carrying voice,  
"Well you see, Auriga, _Dolores_ has decided that the Ministry must now interfere with the very thoughts in our heads! It seems we are now no longer qualified to hold opinions, much less have the freedom of speech to voice them."

All of the students waited, watching, with baited breath. All, Ginny noticed, apart from Harry who infuriatingly was still away in his own depressing little world.

"Hem hem" came the simpering voice which made Ginny fight back the urge to vomit. Judging by their expressions, the staff members were also resisting similar impulses.  
Snape's hand twitched of its own accord as if he were about to throttle her, and Sinistra nonchalantly moved a knife away from Vector's outstretched hand.

"I'm sorry you felt it necessary to air our little, ah, disagreement in front of the entire student body, Minerva. Hem hem. However, you actually helped me prove my point, dear."

Snape's eyebrow raised at the term 'dear' and rose even higher as McGonagall's lips actually disappeared off her face in her grimace.

"You see, Minerva" Umbridge carried on sweetly "some opinions really shouldn't be shared, should they, hm? You can see how _certain people's _gravely misguided views on the world could negatively impact those around them."

Hermione was shaking with suppressed rage. Ginny pretended not to notice that most of the school had just turned round in their seats to stare at her little section of the table where Harry was moping.

"Sorry to needlessly waste your time, children" Umbridge tittered, in an attempt to get the students on her side against McGonagall.  
'If she'd wanted to do that though', Ginny thought 'calling us children was unwise. Also, she really ought not to have banned hot chocolate. Because although maybe most students didn't know how to get to the kitchens, _enough _did that hot chocolate could be obtained in large quantity for those days on which it were needed. A gloomy day like today, for example.'

Gradually, everyone turned back to their own conversations and the general loud clatter of breakfast time resumed. Ron was eying Harry in disbelief.

"You'd have thought he might have at least woke up for that! Did you see Snape?"

"And McGonagall" chimed in Ginny. "All of them, in fact. I had no idea."

"Could you work with that old hag?" Ron reasoned "I sure as hell couldn't."

"True." Ginny conceded "but you'd expect a little more professionalism, wouldn't you? A little more restraint."

Ron didn't seem to agree. He furrowed his eyebrows briefly in thought and concluded,  
"I think they showed plenty of restraint. Didn't call her a toad and start pelting her with fried eggs, did they?"

"Oh, would you stop making jokes every second, Ron!" Hermione burst out. "Look at him. He's your best friend. All he does is stare at that toast! He's not even eating it. I thought it was gonna be okay when he buttered it, but he still didn't eat it! It's like he gave up. At the very least, I wish he'd quit staring at the toast!"

"Enough about the toast" Ron snapped as Ginny leapt to her feet.  
"I'm on it."

"Maybe I should-" Ron started but Hermione cut him off.  
"No, Ronald, we've already established you have no tact or sensitivity. This needs compassion. I'll let you know when he needs some sarcastic comment and a copy of _Chudley Cannons; One Day We'll Win (Maybe. But Probably Not.)"_

"Hey!"

Ignoring them, Ginny walked over to where Harry sat and leant forwards against the table next to him. She knew Ron and Hermione would have stopped bickering now or at least put their fight on hold, to watch her. So her first move probably surprised them quite a bit.

She reached out and snatched the toast from Harry hands. By the time he looked up, Ginny had already taken a huge bite out of his breakfast.

Staring at her in confusion he said slowly,  
"that was my toast."

"Yes." Ginny agreed.

"My toast. That I had in my hand."

"Yes." Ginny agreed again.

"Why did you take my toast?"

"It had butter on." Ginny replied simply.

"Yes." Harry said staring at her as if she'd grown horns "It had butter on, because _I _buttered it."

Ginny rolled her eyes.  
"Well yes. I wasn't implying the bread had buttered itself, Harry." She shook her head in a very patronizing way and Harry found himself getting annoyed.

"Do you routinely go around stretching the bounds of social etiquette by stealing people's breakfast?"

"Well, I wouldn't say it was a hobby or anything." Ginny said ambiguously as she polished off the toast and made to walk away.

"Wait. You can't just walk away!"

"Actually I can. And I think God will be up heaven sitting proudly on his throne going "yes, legs. I KNEW I was right to include them." So, thanks to them, I'm off."

Ginny walked swiftly out of the Hall and waited in the corridor. For a moment she didn't think Harry was going to follow and she would have to go back in and drink his pumpkin juice too. After all, perhaps to someone who survived Voldemort, the juice of a pumpkin held more merit than a heated piece of bread. Ginny wouldn't know. _She _preferred toast, sure, but near-death experiences often changed people's views on life, didn't it?

Fortunately a second later, Harry got up and walked out. He looked incredibly confused.

Ginny turned and made it look like she was still walking away.

"Gin!"

"Oh, Harry. It's you!" Ginny said delightedly, turning, but with a look of surprise on her face. This quickly morphed into a very believable look of polite puzzlement. "Can I help you with something?"

Harry stared at her in disbelief.

"Well...well, you ate my breakfast."

Ginny nodded slowly.  
"I see...and..."

"And, well...you owe me a slice of toast!"

"Oh honestly, Harry" Ginny said dismissively "there's stacks of toast left in the hall."

"No. YOU owe me one. Buttered and all."

"Excuse me?" Ginny said in faux incredulity.

"You heard me. BUTTER MY TOAST!"

Ginny held it together for about half a second and then burst into hysterics.  
"Believe me Harry, there is nothing I'd like better to do than, ah, _butter your toast_." She said grinning, amid the snorts and giggles.

Then, not so much to her amazement as it had been roughly what she'd been hoping for, but to her utmost joy, Harry started laughing as well.

"Alright" he said, smiling "alright. You can have the toast."

"Deeply appreciated." Ginny replied, grinning.

"I might go back in then, haven't spoken to Ron about, er, his essay. And now that I realise you've gone...erm... beyond any level of sanity...well" He chuckled again and made to walk away.

"Oh, you can see those bozos any hour of the day." Ginny told him dismissively "and besides, they're all in bad moods cos of Umbitch and her weather control."

"What?"

"Everyone's gloomy!" Ginny said throwing her hands up in the air. "It's awful. What we need, is hot chocolate!"

Harry gave her a sad smile.  
"All gone from the castle."

Ginny snorted.  
"All gone from the kitchen. Your house-elf friend, Dobby. He tipped me off. I know of a secret stash." Ginny informed him in a low voice, nodding seriously. Harry could only just contain his amusement.

"Come on, we'll have a hot chocolate and bunk off first lesson. What've you got?"

Harry shrugged.  
"History of Magic. Second most pointless lesson we're now doing."

Ginny smirked as she took his hand and led the way to her 'secret stash'.

"Well as it happens" Ginny laughed "I'll be missing number one on that list."

_25 minutes later_

Professor McGonagall was walking through the castle when she heard what could only be described as a tantrum coming from the DADA class room.

Inside were 5 students.

"Goodness, Dolores!" Minerva exclaimed "Might I ask where all your students are? Doing practical work outside, are they?" she asked to smirks from the remainder of the class.

"Sick. They're calling it Umbr- Well. They're just all sick. Including that Ginny Weasley. I bet she started it all. A terrible trouble-maker from a family of terrible trouble-makers and liars."

Minerva frowned.  
"Careful, Headmistress. That's an opinion, and has no relevance to your subject nor any reason to be voiced."

With that, the transfiguration Professor stormed out. Glad that she had got a comment in, but sensible enough to leave before she got into an argument with the toad and got fired.

Days like this she seriously needed an alcoholic drink and a moan to Albus or Poppy. But when that wasn't possible, a steaming mug of hot chocolate would do just the-

"Miss Weasley. Mr Potter!"

"Professor. Erm...hot chocolate?" Ginny asked in what she evidently hoped was a winning voice as she tried desperately to waft the chocolate scent towards the particularly fearsome looking teacher.

"Why...what...how...why are you..."McGonagall spluttered before "oh, yes, alright. Thank-you, Miss Weasley."

"Welcome, Professor."

Breathing in the chocolate fumes, Minerva fixed them both a very stern look.  
"Hm. I expect you to both study whatever you've missed this lesson, understood?"

"Yes Professor." They said dully.

"And achieve top grades in these subjects."

"Yes Professor."

"And never skive off a lesson or go into my office again."

"Yes Professor."

"Would either of you care for a ginger newt?"

"Yes Prof-er...well, yes Professor! Thank-you!"

-x-

**I'm sorry! I know, I should be updating about a hundred other stories. I've even started another one thats about 7 chapters long that i've yet to post. but i just wrote this, and...and...it's bad. really bad, i get it. well, no, i'm being falsely modest now. i appreciate its not terrible, but its really not my best. I should have spent longer on it but I don't want it to take up time from other stories. The little time I have on the computer shouldn't be spend on drivel like this! shame on me! I fully expect you all to hunt me down with pitchforks for lowering standards here on fanfiction. Although I really hope you don't. :)  
A review on how I could make this better is appreciated, but unlikely to be acted upon. I do apologise for my laziness. I'm like Ron, only worse. Especially in the sense that I actually exist, thus my laziness DOES become somewhat more bothersome to more people :)**


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